The Anna Annals: The Compleat Glossary

These are some of the neologisms that Anna Hazare has spawned - in my mind. Blame it on the hysterically fawning electronic media; the faux but sincere Gandhian, poor man, had little to do with them. Please feel free to exercise your inalienable right to add as many more to the broth as you can cook up:

Annapolis (Headlines Today) - A megalopolis renamed because a TV channel thunk it was a good idea.

Annalila (Headlines Today) - Another take on Ramlila - I think, although they could be referring to a natak on the life and times of a new demigod. How we pine for them, adore them, fatten them, sacrifice them.

(*Headlines Today: Mad channel armed with a demagogic bullhorn, in a race up and down the TRP-mad racecourse with Times Now*)

Annaphylactic shock - What a government goes into when told that a new 'freedom struggle' is in the offing.

Annabolic steroids - Muscle power to the people in 10 days straight, with a triple bypass guaranteed a month later.

Annagrams - The secret messages that pass between the well-fed 'Team Anna' and the old man tasked with keeping the flag of revolutionary starvation aloft.

Annachronism - Future to the back.

Annaemia - The current state of the Bleeding Hearts in 'Army Anna'.

Annaesthetics - Oh, you know, like, "What happened to my head! I can't feel my head! Is my head still there?" Has nothing to do with Aesthetics.

Annagogical - Having a secondary spiritual meaning, as in, "If the police arrest me, march to Parliament. Even if they don't arrest me, march to Parliament."

Annagenesis - The evolution of a new species that replaces the old by sheer inventiveness - ie, mixing lung power and jobs that don't demand attendance.

Annal - A group of personality traits including compulsiveness and inflexibility, believed to be associated with excessive preoccupation with the anal phase as a child. Has nothing to do withannals, of which several will be written about 'Anna', 'Team Anna' and 'Army Anna'.

Annaleptic - Curative thwack on the governmental head.

Annalgesic - What Anna will administer to said government after curative thwack on the head.

Annalog - 1) Anything not dizzytal; 2) Anna's people.

Annalogue - Gandhi.

Annalysis - Parliamentary procedures are unconstitutional.

Annaphrodisiac - capable of reducing se-------. Augh. Unmentionable.

Annarchic - In this case, same as Annagogical.

Annathema - Pranab Mukherjee, Kapil Sibal.

Annatomical - 9th day of fasting going on 18.

Annatoxin - A toxoid/antitoxin. Dosage: one pretend consultation with Anna per day per 'Team Anna' member.

Annastigmat - A yet-to-be seen condition of being able to see through the self-generated bullshit - ie, not astigmatic.

Annamorphic - To morph overnight, without the help of facial or ethical reconstruction, from a Delhi lumpen to "Annabhaijisaab".

Annastrophe - When words said in one order make precisely the same sense when said in reverse: "Lao ya jao" = "Jao ya lao."

Annalphabet - 26 of them in all: Z, C, R, A, Q, M, T, etc, in this order, whatever this order is.

Annaplastic - Total disintegration. Why? Because. (Has nothing to do with a spanking new Titanium credit card issued by Citibank.)

Annaerobic - (Of an organism or tissue) living in the absence of air or free oxygen. Self-explanatory.

Annatomised - Vapourised - as in, 'discussion spritzed out of existence'.

Annapest - 1) A foot in the mouth of three syllables - ie, "Lao ya jao", etc; 2) Arvind Kejriwal.

Annangular - Containing no angles - circular, tautological, solipsistic, "Anna is India, India is Anna." Creepy.

Annabranch - "Branch around the Parliamentary crap and let's meet for dinner." Perfected by 'Team Anna'.

Annaphor - A word used to avoid repetition - eg, chor, lutere, dakait...

Annallergic - Not allergic to 'Team Anna' - eg, the government, the lower classes, Arundhati Roy. Me.

Annalgia - The government's pain in the fundament, and said pain's inability to feel any pain.

Arcanna - The mystery behind a 74-year-old's nine-day fast when 40-year-old Ramdev nearly croaked and had to be hospitalised on the seventh.

Asanna - Horizontal fasting pose.

Bananna - What Anna scarfed down for a carb infusion and tossed the peel of, which the government stepped on: as in, "The government had one foot on a bananna peel and the other in its mouth."

Bandanna - Gainda phool ki mala waiting in the wings for 'Team Anna'.

Dulcianna - The dulcet tones of 'Team Anna' when announcing that the government had mooned them - again.

Granna - Handfuls of what 'Army Anna' is eating to stave off its hunger - ie...

Channa - Food for those on pretend-fasts.

Iguanna - Pranab Mukherjee. Arvind Kejriwal. Kapil Sibal. Kiran Bedi. Manmohan Singh. Prashant Bhushan.

Ikebanna - An arrangement of gainda phool and lotus blossoms.

Jnanna - Knowledge acquired through meditation and study. Distilled by 'Team Anna' to "Standing committee, shmanding committee."

Marijuanna - Proscribed item of inhaled insight that might do everyone concerned some good if not proscribed.

Piranna - Small fish, big bite. Why the government is afraid of stepping into uncharted waters.

Tympanna - Eardrums. At Ramlila Maidan. Burst.

Pollyanna - An excessively optimistic belief in the rejuvenating power of fasting till death.

Nirvanna - One global Lokpal. No Lehman Bros. No Mugabe. No Myanmar junta. No US government. Oh, yes, no UPA either.